It's About Me....

Someone told me to write about me sometimes besides the other stuffs, so that others can know me to some extent. So, I thought why not. This is dedicated to that friend and me.


1/ I hate- Display of emotion more than the emotion itself.

2/ I wonder- Why do the old people poke their nose in our affairs so much? Like, we would care if they hang out with three grandmas.

3/ I have- A special quality of being good and patient listener in case of girls and women. That's why I have an elite Ladies company.

4/ I have been- Made brother by my batch girls from Standard-II. (And still on!)

5/ I think- About nothing most of the time. Because I consider my life is perfect.

6/ I believe- In banning all the soap operas and Saas- Bohu serials. They are evil for the society.

7/ I feel pathetic- For those friends who always or most of the time think that Life is giving them shit.

8/ I feel proud- When my parents feel proud of me and when my friends get success and when I get passed in exams.

9/ I sometimes cry- Watching TV or movies (whether it's real or fiction) if I see true display of emotion such as love of parents for their children or an emotion of true achievement....

10/ I fear- I will be left alone after 10/15 years by my friends when they will get busy in their family lives and me unmarried would be walking alone.

11/ I love- Being me.

Why do Girls/ Women Love Vampires????

Weird topic, haan! But really, they love vampires. Even in movies they get attracted towards them as if drug addicts. Why? Let's have a look........

1/ Vampires are very much loner. They don’t have many friends, and if they do, they are usually out doing their own thing. Women love vampires because they have all the time in the world. Literally....This clan takes up quality time and attention that is usually reserved for a girlfriend.

2/ Vampires don't bother their girlfriends in day time giving them enough space and time to live an individualistic life too.

3/ Have you seen the dressing sense of vampires? Pretty cool, trendy and stylish. Elegance is key to make girls fall for.

4/ I am afraid to say, but they know the sensual things very well........

5/ Women beg to differ, but they honestly do like the occasional hint of drama in a relationship. It keeps things fresh and exciting. This is perfect for the vampire, whose mood is constantly changing.

6/ Vampires have a calming demeanor. They are suave, smooth and soft-spoken, and the women eat it up. They convince the smart and savvy women that their odd behavior is on the up-and-up. They even convince them it’s cool to suck blood. Very Hard for a normal guy.

7/ Woman love to think they were destined to be with one man for the rest of their lives. They love the romantic angle of a soul mate -- two people destined to meet, fall in love and be together forever. Now imagine that man is just as eager to find her and has been searching for untold centuries. It knocks a woman off her feet like a silver bullet through the heart.

8/ Vampires are quite romantic. The setting is always dark and mysterious and the atmosphere is just right for some out of box romance. Also working to their advantage is that they don’t do much talking to ruin the moment. They’ve also had years of practice.

9/ The vampire is always in phenomenal shape; it must be the low carbon/high blood diet. They have enormous raw power and magnificent mental power. They are fast runner and quick thinker. This amazing one-two combo is a major reason women love vampires. Moreover, it’s almost impossible to kill a vampire.

10/ Last but not the least, Vampires are ultimate bad boys. There's a common saying among girls- " Girls flirt and get attracted towards bad boys but marry to good boy." Vampire answers to no one, lives by his own rules, wears nice clothes, and is hated by millions of living people. This gives us our ultimate bad boy who makes girls fall for him.

SHUBH AARAMBH......

You might have seen the AirTel ad where it says problem can be solved if you talk. Guys have a problem of getting attracted to girls very easily, but that's okay, but It sucks when they just blew off everything with their first line of conversation with Gals. always remember just like interview here also: " FIRST IMPRESSION CAN BE THE LAST IMPRESSION." So, here's some lines which you should never ever say at the beginning of a conversation with a Girl.

1/ Kya main aap ko ghar tak chhod doon? ( Dumb! she's not a KG student!)

2/ Excuse me! Can you give your number? (She might show you her sandal number)

3/ (Looking at the boy standing next to her) Is he your boyfriend? Lucky Guy..
( This gives the girl the feeling of insecurity in you in competition for her...)

4/ Hello! Apun ko sab idhar Munna bhai boltaiech hai!!( Good job! You can only disgust someone!)

5/ Hi! I am Raj. Naam to suna hoga...(Better pause before the last sentence)

6/ Kya main aapse akele main do baat kar sakta hoon? ( Don't be so shy my honey!)

7/ Just after the first line of conversation- " What are you doing tonight?"
( Abey! tujhe usse kya matlab? woh jo bhi kare!)

8/ Can you see that new car? It's mine, I just bought it for 20 Lakhs. ( This proves that you have nothing else to offer a girl than simple material possessions. Some girls may get attracted but not to you, but to your material possessions.)

9/ Can I have your picture?( If you stop at this you are gone. Add- "So I can show santa what I want for christmas!" Nevertheless she won't give you. Better if you give her a good quick sketch of her.)

10/ Do you mind if we share this cab to my house? (Don't be too smart, girls are smarter than you!)

11/ It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? ( Now, you have just crossed the limit.)

In 2030.......

If Mayan prediction goes wrong and the world does not end on 20-12-2012, then let me guess what we could observe in 2030..

1/ Technology will be available to do brain implantation, Rakhi Sawant will be the first celebrity to avail it.

2/ Hritik will be the directer of Krish 5 launching his Son into Bollywood.

3/ Better India ad will be posted with another shifted vision of 2050.

4/ Herman Baweja- the guy from 2050 will still have no future.

5/ Salman- Katrina gossip will still rule paparazzi world.

6/ There will be no orphan in this world, thanks to Angelina Jolie.

7/ Ekta Kapoor will launch a "matrix" kind sci-fi Saas-Bohu serial.

8/ Bipasha and John will still remain to the limit of dating only.

9/ USA will at last find Osama in a grave yard, numerous scientific investigation will tell that because of excess of cave dwellings for so many years imposed by USA, he died of old age.

Last but not the least:

10/ You will be enjoying your life with your half dozen kids.

Be a Movie Maniac

Let's associate some celebrities to some movies or serials' name and see the fun.

Bobby Darling- Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya hi Ki jo (Zee TV).

Robert Pattinson- Get Smart ( Anemic Vampire!)

Bappi Lahiri- Kung Fu Panda (Strictly Size criteria only!)

Kristen Stewart- Insomnia (She needs medication!)

Angelina Jolie- WANTED

Brad Pitt- The Fantastic Mr Fox.(Got Angelina?)

Himesh Reshmiya and his films - Public Enemies (He needs to be paid not to act in movies)

Lindsey Lohan(Currently in jail)- I am Legend (Yes, We know You are a legendary drug addict)

Karan Johar- The Uninvited (At Koffee with Karan)

Megan Fox (Got married recently)- Disturbia (Ya! men are disturbed by her marriage!)

Briteny Spears- Scary Movie (She looks really scary!)

Rakhi Sawant- Godzilla ( She certainly yells like that!)

Our Politicians- Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (It's really a movie name,classic comedy; not only their....)

Kate Winslet- Little Miss Sunshine ( I am bit partial here)

Akshaya Kumar (On a record spree of flop movies)- I don't wanna give any bad name to a movie by stating it opposite to his name. I just wanna say- "Everything gonna be alright."

US Economy- Crash ( winner of Best film in Oscar just like US economy is winner in crashing)

Last but not the least; The Spanish Football Team- The Lord of The Rings...

How to MAKE A HINDI HORROR MOVIE?

1/ The title of the movie should contain words like Haveli, Kabarstan, Khooni, Darinda or 'Ram Gopal Verma Presents'...

2/ Take Rakhi Sawant as Chudail. No make up needed.

3/ You can also take her as Khooni Darinda.( two in one)

4/ Take heroine more skinny than skeleton.

5/ Put an item song...

6/ Hero should be more hairy than the " Beast" I mean Darinda.

7/ Shoot in cherapunji or tropical rain forest, no artificial rain will be needed throughout the movie..

8/ Avoid dogs at shooting set, there would be lots of bone and skeleton...

9/ If you are in difficult in casting someone for the role of Bhoot, then the best thing you should do is CAST YOURSELF. No one can beat you in that.

Have Happy Horror Movie????

FUEL PRICE HIKE AND RELATED HAPPINESS

Time is gone to keep throwing stones at buses and burning effigies (using fuel again) asking Sarkar to reduce fuel price. Because if you use your body fuel a bit to work your brain out then you will be enlightened and evolved to find that this hike actually leads to-
Happy Relationship
Good Health
Better financial planning
Good Career
Spiritual bent of mind=Peace of mind...(Mainly for Grihasthi Jeevan)

Happy Relationship:
With no money to spend, because of hike, you will head home directly. No option is available except spending time with your family. The more you spend time, the more the relation will go stronger. Just like the inmates of Jail like each other because of the ample time they have to spend with each other. Soap operas with spouse, fun with children, dinners together and the family bond will become stronger; after all family connection is more important than LPG connection.

Good Health:
All the extra fat of the body will be burned out, because you will have to walk or run or cycle to your work place. Food craving? You have to forget it because even basic food will be hard to get, so just look at the good food and satisfy yourself. The habit of drinking and smoking will also have to be compromised.

Better Financial Planning:
Since the price hike impacts everything, from vegetables to underwear, you will always be calculating and will be trying to match the fixed incomes to your rising desires. A razor sharpening financial plan will always be needed rather than the previous casual planning, so future will become financially secure and adaptable to any situation.

Good Career:
There will be more things to share with colleagues as problems are more shared than happiness. Also a you have already compromised your transport facility you can spend more time after office during the journey home with friends which will make work environment friendly and which eventually will lead to greater productivity and thus good career.

Spirituality:
As everything will be volatile in this world with so much of fluctuation in market and a lot of burden, you will learn to laugh at problems, you will just throw your hands in the air , clear signs of spirituality.
So, a great Paradox, yet it will surely increase the intimacy index of couple in our nation.
--- Inspired by an article in TNSE.